What Does It Mean To Forgive?

Someone once said that, “unforgiveness is like you drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”



I want to reflect on this idea.

At times we may say, “ I forgive you,” as if we’re actually doing something for the other person.   That you’re forgiving someone else.
I want to first acknowledge that nothing is personal.  Nothing that anyone ever does to you is ever personal to you. 

Whether it is beautiful and someone praises you, or whether it is “ugly” and someone is shaming you.

None of it is about you. It’s really about them.  People can only give what they have.

If you have love, than you give love.  If you have anger, you give anger because that’s what you can give.  In the same way, recognizing that, realize that there’s no one to forgive.

Forgiveness is actually for YOURSELF.



Forgiveness is there to create freedom for yourself, because to imagine that there’s a process, is when you realize that there’s nothing that’s personal. Therefore, you don’t take people’s actions personally and there’s really nothing to be done.

People might even apologize and, internally, you might be in a space where you’re also maintaining neutrality; you’re continuing to be neutral in the experience. 

In this moment, just consider when it comes to forgiveness:

Can you set yourself free?


Can you not be bound by the ideas that people are doing things to you?



That you are being attacked and that it’s actually even about you?

Part of believing that it’s “about you”  is also an inflated version of yourself. 

To make yourself to be so important as to think that someone would actually consider doing something to you, is also just another idea of yourself that may not be completely accurate to who you are.

With Love,
Andrew McFarlane

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